The Scribblings of Nick West

Finish that Fucking Draft!

2012-02-01T22:23:00.000-08:00

I follow an awesome blog by screenwriter, Scott Meyers, called Go into the Story.

Today I saw this written in the comments of one post:

"I searched on Google: 'Why can't I write my goddamn screenplay' and it took me to GITS. I believe it was fate."

Not only is this one of the coolest things I've heard recently (because GITS rocks), but it also makes me realize that I have a bit of wisdom I can impart to beginning writers.

FINISH YOUR FIRST FUCKING DRAFT!

Do it now. Don't wait. Don't make excuses.

Let's see what the masters have to say about this.

"The first draft of anything is shit."
-Ernest Hemingway-

"...It's very important for the young writer to [write your daily pages, and] to turn them over and don't look at them again... Give yourself a chance to put together... [a complete] draft and then read it."
-Francis Ford Coppola-

And here is what I believe: There is no such thing as writer's block. There is only the fear of writing shit. And if you are writing, you will write shit. If Hemingway did, so will you. Because last time I checked you aren't Ernest Hemingway, motherfucker. You can always write words. Think about it. If have hands and a pencil or keyboard, you can physically make a word appear. You can then write multiple words that form a sentence, and so on...

So what's stopping you?

Fear?

Fuck, fear.

Fuck it right in its dark little hole.

The following certified genius agrees:

"It is by going into the abyss that we recover the treasures of life. Where you stumble, there lies your treasure."
-Joseph Campbell-

If you're a writer, write. Pull your head out of your ass and put words on the page.

Much love,
-Captain Odysseus-

Fuck you, fear.

Woke Up, Watched the News, Wrote a Rant.

2012-01-26T11:48:00.000-08:00

Warning: This is a rant.

I am sick and tired of people saying Christian values were the foundation of this country and our constitution. Our country was founded by rich guys who wanted to keep their money. Rich guys who liked having power. Rich guys who had slaves (I guess that is biblical). Rich guys that liked sex and had mistresses.

Rich guys who had a few good ideas too. Which, if you've read their writings, they came to by reason and logic.

So what I'm trying to say is, read a goddamn book before you spout your faux-nationalism in order to justify your prejudices.

End rant.

(I didn't mean to make this blog so political. I'll get back to some fun story stuff next time.)

SOPA Strike

2012-01-18T00:52:00.000-08:00

I'm not smart enough to black out my heading with html, but I will not be using the Internet today.

This SOPA jazz needs to stop.

http://sopastrike.com/strike/

Research Time: Fingerprints of the Gods

2012-01-09T20:04:00.000-08:00

I've been working on a new screenplay. It's going to be unlike anything I've written before. Super ambitious and such.

This is one of the books I've used for research:

More to come...

The Existential Post

2012-01-06T12:02:00.000-08:00

What is the point of a blog?

All writing is meant to communicate an idea or symbolize something else.

I originally intended this as a place where I could promote my writing. However, looking at how infrequently I update, I've often had the thought of giving it up.

Writing is a catharsis for me. But now that I have steady writing gigs (most of which I can't talk about publicly), do I need this blog as an outlet?

I guess it doesn't hurt to have around. It holds my resumé and prompts me to write something on slow days.

Yeah, I'll keep it around.

A Letter to My Senator—"National Defense"

2011-11-30T16:39:00.000-08:00

Well, I couldn't help myself. I usually try to stay out of politics. Then I woke up to this news. The National Defense Authorization Act sounds like a nice name. Hey, our government is defending us!

Maybe not...

So, I just had to write a letter to my senator, Mr. Orrin Hatch.

Here it is:

Up front I need to admit that I'm not the most politically savvy guy. I've always been more focused on the arts than on the contention of our (seeming) empire. And rarely have I made contact with my local government. However, I woke up this morning to news of the passing of the National Defense Authorization Act. From what is being said, it would allow (among many other provisions) the military to detain United States citizens without trial, if they are deemed a threat to national security.

If this is true, it literally makes me sick to my stomach. I was raised believing that no matter what I had the right to a trial by a jury of my peers.

With the abuses we've witnessed recently by police against people's right to assemble, the atrocities of the "War on Drugs," the slashing of arts and sciences in schools, and now this, I'm really worried about my value as a citizen and the rights it should include.

In closing, I'm poor, have had a few driving tickets, and a wild youth: Other than that, I try my best to be a good man and citizen.

Please help me believe in my country again. Oppose nonsense that makes the poor and the disenfranchised enemies to their own government.

Sincerely,

Nick West

SL,UT LIFE (Second Draft)

2011-11-04T14:02:00.000-07:00

This is what happens when you learn a bit about screenwriting. You start to rewrite everything.

SL,UT LIFE was my first shot at a real screenplay. It's a lot different than comic books.

Check out my previous first five pages, here. Then read the same pages from the second draft and see how drastically things can change in just a few months.

I focused on two main things this time around. (And there will be more changes before it's done):

1) A better hook. (Getting right to the action.)

2) Defining characters by actions.

Enjoy.

FADE IN:

INT. BASEMENT-NIGHT

A house party in Salt Lake City. WILLEM, 32, a DJ, spins

funk music. He is chubby, but attractive and dressed in

pajamas.

TWENTY and THIRTY-SOMETHINGS dance, drink and mingle.

TONY, 27 and JAMES, 25, fight, throwing punches and

grunting. Party goers move out of the way. Tony looks like

he belongs on Jersey Shore. James is a white guy with

dreads.

They knock over a table and spill people’s drinks.

ELI WHEDON, 29, and KRISTEN SHORE, 30, step in to separate

the men. Eli wears a black muscle shirt and jeans. Kris is

black, has a big frame for a girl, and sports a knee length

skirt and a blouse that shows her strong arms.

ELI

Jesus, guys. Chill out.

Kris pulls Tony away, and slams him into a wall.

KRIS

Don’t be starting shit, or I’ll

finish it for you, motherfucker.

Eli holds James’ arms. James struggles and they both topple

backwards.

Eli’s face is smooshed into James’ back.

ELI

Somebody call these bastards a cab.

EXT. PATIO-NIGHT

PARTY GOERS stand around a fire pit, smoking, drinking and

telling stories.

Eli and Kris step onto the patio.

ELI

Bum a smoke?

KRIS

Menthols only.

ELI

I didn’t expect anything else.

They light up.

James runs into the backyard.

JAMES

Don’t make me go alone! That’s when

they get you!

Eli and Kris arch eyebrows at each other.

ELI

Tweeker?

KRIS

No shit.

They step towards him. Eli puts his hand on James’ chest.

ELI

Come on, buddy. We’re trying to

enjoy ourselves here.

JAMES

But dude! The fucking Nazca lines!

ELI

Okay.

Eli and Kris grab James on either side.

EXT. FRONT YARD-NIGHT

A residential neighborhood in Sugarhouse. The streets are

wet from rain. Eli and Kris push James onto the sidewalk.

KRIS

Walk it off, bitch.

ELI

Then sleep it off, bitch.

JAMES

Oh, man. I’m going with the rest of

them.

ELI

Yeah, say "hi" to your friends when

you sober up.

EXT. PATIO-NIGHT

Eli and Kris finish their smokes.

APRIL, 26, approaches. She has mousy hair with little to

show for style, but wonderful tits.

She stares at Eli the entire conversation.

APRIL

Thanks for getting those guys out

of my house.

KRIS

You need to start paying me for

bouncing here.

ELI

Gotta protect my neighbors.

APRIL

I need to show you something

downstairs, Eli.

ELI

Right. let me finish my smoke.

April exits.

Kris laughs.

ELI

What?

KRIS

Are you still fucking that bitch?

ELI

Maybe.

KRIS

You and getting your dick wet. You

must be rockin’ that shit epic.

Eli eyes JANELLE, 22, who stands on the other side of the

fire. She’s super cute, brunette and wearing shorts and a

tight t-shirt.

ELI

Who’s that?

KRIS

Janelle. She’s a rug-muncher.

ELI

No she’s not.

KRIS

Uh, yes, she is.

ELI

Not tonight.

INT. BASEMENT-NIGHT

Eli and Janelle dance to the funk music.

Kris and Janelle take a shot. They laugh and Kris rubs

Janelle on the arm.

Eli whispers in Willem’s ear. They both laugh.

Janelle pulls Eli to a corner.

JANELLE

You live a few doors down?

ELI

Yeah.

JANELLE

Do you have a condom?

ELI

Yes. Uh, just a second.

He hurries to Willem, who pulls down a side of his

headphones.

ELI

Put that shit on auto. I need to

talk with you.

INT. WILLEM’S ROOM-NIGHT

Eli and Willem enter. The room has a nice plush bed,

psychedelic artwork and a scale on the desk.

ELI

Dude, she’s a lesbian. I’ve never

slept with a lesbian before. I’m

totally freaking out. I’m mean I

play it cool, but I’m her only her

second straight guy. How can I

compete with some short-hair?

Willem takes a bag of marijuana out of a hidden drawer and

weighs some on the scale.

ELI

Motherfucker, I didn’t ask you for

weed. Do you have condoms or not?

WILLEM

Patience my son. You have something

that every girl wants, even the

lesbians.

ELI

A job?

Willem puts the marijuana into a baggy, seals it and tucks

it into his pocket.

Eli fidgets.

ELI

Dude, you’re killing me here. She’s

ready to go.

Willem opens his closet and produces a box of condoms.

Eli grabs at them. Willem pulls them away.

WILLEM

Relax. Own your manhood.

Eli breathes in deep.

ELI

Okay. I got this.

Willem holds out the box.

WILLEM

One giant leap for mankind.

Eli reaches his hand in.

ELI

I’ll take two.

INT. ELI’S ROOM-NIGHT

Janelle pushes Eli onto an Ikea bed. The room is sparse

except for books, weights, and a guitar or two.

He kicks his shoes onto the floor. She pulls his shirt off.

He lifts her shirt and kisses her stomach. She pulls it

completely off, leaving only her bra.

He unbuttons her pants.

EXT. ELI’S PORCH-NIGHT

Eli and Janelle, with after-sex hair, smoke cigarettes.

ELI

Well, I gotta hang with my son in

the morning.

JANELLE

You’re a dad?

ELI

Yep. Errol. Three-years-old.

Handsomest little shit you’ve ever

seen.

JANELLE

So, I could stay the night.

ELI

It might look weird if my ex

dropped him off and you were here.

We’ve only been divorced for a few

months.

JANELLE

And you’re already sleeping around?

ELI

Heh. It went sour a over a year

ago. So, it sounds like the party

is still going.

JANELLE

Fuck you.

ELI

Yeah.

She storms down the driveway.

Eli finishes his cigarette.

A Writer on the Fringes of Tinseltown

2011-10-20T20:56:00.000-07:00

My Times Square reviews have dried up lately. However, they have a super-cool team over there. Editor-in-Chief Joey Franco has told me to take some time off, no problem.

I'm grateful for his understanding. I've been a busy little bastard.

At the moment, one of my screenplays is being read by a major Hollywood literary agency. They could easily pass, of course, but it's nice to know I'm starting to get my foot in the door.

I also have luncheon/meet-up/or-something with and actual Hollywood producer about an actual project.

Epitome.

Review—Warrior

2011-09-23T21:23:00.000-07:00

Another week, another review. Hit up Times Square.

Review—Attack the Block

2011-09-06T19:59:00.000-07:00

I'm busy working on draft three of my current screenplay.

I also, somehow, found time to review this movie.

Click on the link and read it, goddammit.

And I'm back to writing...

Review—Fright Night

2011-08-22T15:50:00.000-07:00

Fright Night reviewed. Check it out at Times Square.

"Colin Farrell as a vamp is entirely worth watching. He plays this thing beautifully. He’s creepy, seductive, charming, funny, and menacing. I couldn’t get enough of his performance. Like any great vampire, he loves to play with his food. And we love to watch him."

How to Piss Off a Powerful Millionaire

2011-08-17T18:05:00.000-07:00

Rob Liefeld is comic book artist who has worked on some of the most popular titles in history. Many find his art to be un-professional. And that's putting it nicely.

Recently I had this little adventure:

I read this:*

I said this:

Loren Teryl re-tweeted.

Rob Liefeld replied:

Now, from what I understand, Rob Liefeld is actually a nice guy who loves comics. While I don't personally enjoy his style anymore, millions do. And, he will always have a place in my twelve-year-old heart for his work on the popular series X-Force.

So Rob, good for you, man. You're doing what you love, and making money at it. I've only figured out half that equation.

My tweet was meant as a joke. It's a mean joke, but I stand by the core of its truth. There's a large comic reader and creator consensus that find his artwork to be atrocious. (See here and here.)

Now if I could just figure out how to make money by pissing people off.

In closing, I suggest we let Mr. Liefeld's art speak for itself.

*Article originally read on Comic Book Resources.

We Won an Award!

2011-08-13T19:43:00.000-07:00

I came in second place in the Utah Women in Film short screenplay competition. I submitted a short with my girlfriend, Jen Ford (seeing as I have a penis, and all).

The grand prize winner got produced, but UWIF own the rights. We got a little recognition and retain our property, if we decide to film it (I think we will).

We wrote a short called Moab. It deals with the concept of assisted suicide, has a strong female character, is funny and included a nice little action sequence.

Jen did the bulk of the first draft. I re-wrote, edited and both of us worked on dialogue punch-ups. It was a nice little partnership that I hope to continue.

Jenni and Nick. (I think I was trying to flip off the camera.)

Review—Beginners

2011-08-05T11:18:00.000-07:00

Head over to Times Square for the full review.

An excerpt:

"Again, I can’t say enough good things about Plummer. He looks young and energetic when he needs to. And when closer to death, he seems as frail as a dying old man really is. There is a real chemistry between him and McGregor."

Finishing

2011-07-27T19:37:00.000-07:00

The first draft of my second screenplay = Finished!

So far, this year, I have completed two full length screenplays (they need re-writes of course), co-wrote a ten-minute short, and continued to review one movie a week for Times Square.

This, of course, is on top of working (forty-five to fifty hours a week), spending time with my son and girlfriend, taking a screenwriting class (from Richard Dutcher), drinking a lot of beer and occasionally sleeping.

Also, one day I'll read a book again (not for research).

Nick West: Tired and Happy

Review—Horrible Bosses

2011-07-18T18:34:00.001-07:00

Horrible Bosses review for Times Square: clickity-click.

"Jennifer Aniston has moved into the I-have-botox-and-can’t-move-my-face stage of being an actress."

Review—Buck

2011-07-13T14:09:00.000-07:00

Yadda, yadda, click on this link for the full Times Square review.

"...One of the longest sequences, serving as a climax to the movie, shows as Buck deals with a particularly rotten horse—a colt. It is harrowing and edge-of-your-seat stuff. When Buck opens up on the owner of the colt, it feels like Dad is chewing us out and we deserve it. I stand in awe of this man’s righteous anger."

Review—Larry Crowne

2011-07-07T15:23:00.000-07:00

As of this posting, good ol' Times Square has messed up a bunch of my text (movie titles aren't italicized and other such things).

Anyhow, I am grateful to them for this nice little writing gig, so head over there and read my review for Larry Crowne.

An excerpt:
"Larry Crowne is like a clueless hipster. It’s accidentally existential."

Review—Bad Teacher

2011-06-29T09:46:00.000-07:00

My review for Bad Teacher is up at Times Square.

An excerpt:

"So Bad Teacher is about a very unlikable character in some ways. At the same time though, Diaz acts as a societal id. She is our bad-girl. She does and says the things of our base and impulse desires. She is a lying bitch but full of subtext. And she’s funny."

Dutcher's Screenwriting Boot Camp

2011-06-24T00:12:00.000-07:00

I attended my first class on screenwriting taught by Richard Dutcher today.

A few things I learned:

-It's okay to write exactly how I write. In other words, all these screenplay books about step-outlines and structure have been killing my creativity.
-Write, write, write.
-I need to trust my instincts—and then re-write. I've known this, but do I really know it?

Mr. Dutcher is asking us to turn in quite a few pages every week. I'm up to the challenge and giddy as a motherfucker.

I am taking a class from one of my cinematic heroes.

Nick. Is. Happy.

Review—Green Lantern

2011-06-20T13:35:00.000-07:00

I watched Green Lantern. I then reviewed it.

Lucky me.

An excerpt:
"Directed by Martin Campbell (Casino Royale, The Mask of Zorro), Lantern is in hands that I’d like to call capable, but...

Yeah, “capable” works. And hopefully I can make it through life without ever having to type the name “Martin Campbell” again.

Speaking of names I’d like to never mention again, how about Blake Lively (Gossip Girl, The Sisterhood of the Traveling Pants)? Here she plays the forced love-interest who also happens to be a business-woman of intelligent acumen and a trained fighter-pilot. She fails to convince us of any of her roles, including someone Ryan Reynolds would fall in love with.

But I digress."

Sunstone on iTunes

2011-06-16T09:02:00.000-07:00

You can buy issue #160 of The Sunstone for $1.99 on iTunes. It features The Man in the Ground by myself and Sam Rodriguez.

Here be the link.

Review—Midnight in Paris

2011-06-14T16:25:00.000-07:00

While writing this review I was also waiting to find out if I'd made it into Richard Dutcher's screenwriting course. It was a little hard to focus.

Well, I made it. And I got the news just as I was wrapping the critique.

Anyhow, head over to Times Square and read my thoughts on Midnight in Paris.

An excerpt:

"It pleases me to see great artists that shine well into old age. If one were to look at Woody Allen’s surface resumé, it would seem the man cranks out a movie every year and paints it by the numbers. Midnight in Paris proves that he can still teach us a thing or two about character, concept and story; and that he deserves to be called a master of filmmaking."

Review—X-Men: First Class

2011-06-07T17:41:00.000-07:00

I love this movie.
See it now.
But first click on my Times Square review!

Excerpt:

"That brings us back to McAvoy and Fassbender. These two are brilliant together. The friendship and rivalry between Charles and Eric is of mythological proportions. It’s Martin Luther King Jr. versus Malcom X ideologies. It’s something I’ve always loved in the comics. And here it is played with true passion. Fassbender is especially fantastic as a man we want to receive redemption but we all know he lets his dark-side win."

Review—The Hangover Part II

2011-06-06T12:30:00.000-07:00

The Hangover Part II.

Yep. I didn't walk out of the theater.

Read the full review at Times Square.

An excerpt:

"I’m actually surprised at how classes and callous this cash-in is. It reminded me of those crappy sequels we used to get in the 1980s. Think Grease 2 or Jaws 3D. I’m not over exaggerating."

SL,UT LIFE Pages 1-5 (For Mr. Dutcher)

2011-06-03T22:14:00.000-07:00

I'm applying to a screenwriting course being taught by Richard Dutcher. Enrollment is limited and he has asked for a five page writing sample. Here's the introduction to my screenplay SL,UT Life:

"And others he will pacify, and lull them into carnal

security, that they will say: All is well in Zion; yea, Zion

prospereth, all is well—and thus the devil cheateth their

souls, and leadeth them away carefully down to hell."

-2 Nephi 28:21-

"It’s all good."

-Salt Lake Traditional-

FADE IN:

EXT.—INDIE NIGHT CLUB, SALT LAKE CITY, UTAH—NIGHT

Twenty and thirty-something men and women line up outside

"The Brickyard Club" waiting to get in. They are indie,

hipster and geeks. Danceable music is playing.

LEAD SINGER (V.O.)

Hey guys. We are "Plasma Lips."

This first song is called, "The

Emperor."

INT.—INDIE NIGHT CLUB—NIGHT

The music escalates. The feet, arms and bodies of the

club-goers start to move.

The music kicks into full gear. ELI WHEDON (29), tight black

shirt and jeans, is dancing with JANELLE (27), cute indie

dress. They dance apart but begin to move in close, laughing

and smiling.

The dance floor is packed.

BEN (29), in flannel, VIKRAM (29), blue-collar shirt, and

LILY (27), sexy and chic, are sitting at a table close to

the dance floor. Ben drinks a beer, Vikram a whiskey and

Lili a martini.

BEN

Look at that fuckin’ slut.

VIKRAM

Eli?

BEN

Of course, fuckin’ Eli. Think he

can go a night without trying to

get his dick wet?

VIKRAM

(Smiles.)

...

LILY

He’s just sad

BEN

Yeah. What a lonely fuck.

INT.—INDIE NIGHT CLUB—NIGHT

Eli dances over to a nearby table with beer and raises his

glass at Vikram, Ben and Lily. Vikram winks and returns the

air-toast with his whiskey. Lily laughs and drinks first.

Ben drinks and flips off Eli. Eli and Vikram drink together.

Eli dances back to Janelle.

ELI

God, I love these guys.

JANELLE

The band?

ELI

Yeah.

JANELLE

I’m so glad I came.

ELI

(Under his breath)

That’s what she said.

JANELLE

What?

ELI

Uhm... I said, "That’s what she

said!"

JANELLE

(Laughs.)

Janelle pulls on Eli’s hips and pushes hers into him. They

dance closer.

EXT.—DANCE CLUB STREET—NIGHT

Eli and Janelle are walking close together. Vikram and Lily

hold hands. Ben walks alone behind them. They head towards

parked cars.

VIKRAM

Are your neighbors still having

that party?

ELI

Yeah. Let’s head over.

JANELLE

At April’s?

ELI

Yep.

JANELLE

I love April!

Eli and Vikram exchange a knowing glance.

A homeless man stumbles out of nowhere. He has a sleeping

bag wrapped around his legs.

BEN

Jesust!

HOMELESS JOE

Got any spare change?

BEN

Fuck...

Eli hands Joe some change.

VIKRAM

Ben, did you just say, "Jesust?"

EXT.—APRIL’S HOUSE—NIGHT

Eli, Ben, Vikram, Janelle and Lily walk through a backyard.

There are people standing around a fire-pit drinking and

smoking, talking and laughing.

The group follow Eli into the house.

INT.—APRIL’S BASEMENT—NIGHT

The group walks down a staircase into the party. A DJ is

spinning old funk records. A few people move their bodies

but most just drink and talk. Some of them play cards.

Janelle grabs Eli.

JANELLE

You live next door right?

ELI

I do.

JANELLE

And do you have a condom?

ELI

Uh, just a second.

Eli runs back up the stairs. Janelle sees APRIL (27),

hippie-ish. The two girls hug.

APRIL

Oh, you’re so beautiful tonight!

JANELLE

Thank you! Can I get a drink?

EXT.—APRIL’S HOUSE—NIGHT

Eli runs out to the fire.

ELI

(To the partiers)

Have you guys seen Willem?

A few of the smokers look up and grunt. Most of them don’t

pay attention. They keep talking to each other.

Eli runs back inside.

INT.—APRIL’S HOUSE, HALLWAY—NIGHT

Eli is knocking on a bedroom door.

WILLEM

(O.S.)

Enter.

INT.—WILLEM’S ROOM—NIGHT

WILLEM (32), sweat-pants and retro shirt, sits at a desk

drawing an amazing picture of animals and realistic

plant-life. There is a scale on his desk with buds of

marijuana.

ELI

Buddy! How are you doing you

botanist bastard?

WILLEM

Good. I’m just working on...

ELI

Okay man. This girl I met at the

bar—and I know her from work—she

knows April too, but she’s a

lesbian and she wants to come over

to my place. Do you have a condom?

She’s a lesbian!

WILLEM

(Laughs)

What? Alright, man!

Eli and Willem high-five.

WILLEM

One giant-leap for mankind.

Willem sits at his desk and makes a few marks in pencil to

his drawing. He methodically takes marijuana from the scale

and puts it in a baggy.

ELI

Dude!

WILLEM

Patience my son.

Willem seals the baggy and puts it in his pocket. He stands

and goes to his closet pulling out a box of condoms. Eli

grabs at them.

ELI

I’ll take two.

Review—Everything Must Go

2011-05-24T17:02:00.000-07:00

My review for Everything Must Go is up at Times Square.

I was a bit tired and uninspired but it does the job.

Times Square Review - Thor

2011-05-11T17:48:00.000-07:00

The ol' Thor review is up at Times Square. Enjoy!

From the article:

"The greatest emotional moments come from Tom Hiddleston, who plays Loki. He is brilliant as a conflicted and emotional brother who turns on his kingdom. In myth is he is the liar and great deciever—the symbolic satan. Hiddleston gives us sympathy-for-the-devil in his performance. You can understand his actions even if you deplore them. Beautiful. He’s a great villain.

Anthony Hopkins does his best Hopkins-as-king-impression but looks cool. And for some reason Rene Russo shows up and ruins every camera shot she’s in."

SL,UT Life—Oh, Joy!

2011-05-02T14:34:00.000-07:00

I just finished the first draft of my screenplay SL,UT Life.

That stands for "Salt Lake City, Utah" if you didn't know. Were you thinking something else, you dirty little monkeys?

Alright, it does have a double meaning. Guilty as charged. I'm a dirty monkey too.

I should mention that I drank a little whiskey to celebrate.

Now, I'm going to reward myself with an hour of video games and then get busy on the second draft. Awwww-sheeeit!

Times Square Review—Hanna

2011-04-13T21:49:00.000-07:00

Go see Hanna now.

I dug it. Clickity-click for my review.

An excerpt:

"Before seeing Hanna, a friend described it to me as “When Eric Bana trains an albino to kill Cate Blanchett.” Well, that about sums up the plot but it turns out to be so much more. I thought I was getting the “Bourne-teenager.” Okay, I did get that, but to explain this film as just a Bourne rip-off would be selling it way short of its true nature."

And:

"Now, I won’t be giving away any major spoilers but it’s the little things that make Hanna a great piece of cinema. So, if you’d like to be pleasantly surprised (as I was) then stop reading after the next two sentences: Hanna is beautiful, intelligent and expertly crafted. It is chock full of great moments and shockingly original roles. As one character uses the perfect cliché to sum up this movie: “The devil is in the details.” That character turns out to be a german hit-man who owns a tranny-dance-club and wears short-shorts. I’m not kidding. And guess what? It works."

Times Square Review—Source Code

2011-04-08T12:45:00.000-07:00

Another review up at Times Square.

Groundhog's Da... I mean, Source Code.

Critics are still insane. I don't know what my peers saw in this one.

From the article:

"The actors (with the exception of Farmiga and one other, whom I won’t name for spoiler reasons) all performed with believability. The sour point being in that, the written characters weren’t very deep. Stevens has some Daddy issues that are a bit touching, but what we find here is mostly one-dimensional faces acting as plot-devices. The key leads have just enough flavor to be enticing but not enough to nourish a deeper look. By far the weakest is the actual terrorist who planted the bomb. His motivations and delivery are full on cheesy."

Times Square Review—Sucker Punch

2011-04-01T16:42:00.000-07:00

My squishy-texted review for Sucker Punch is up at Times Square.

From the article:
Now here’s the thing: when the end-credits rolled, I thought the film’s message was quite clear and even a little bit heavy-handed. I wondered the following:

Why are people confused by Sucker Punch? Have film critics never read books? The message is right in your face.
Am I losing my mind? Why did I get so much enjoyment out of this movie while my peers detested it?

Times Square Review—Paul

2011-03-22T12:17:00.000-07:00

I reviewed Paul for Times Square. Clickity-click for the full article.

An excerpt:

"By the time Kristen Wiig shows up, she acts like a release of tension to the junky script. Wiig just might be the funniest human being in America. Here she plays Ruth, a goofy and earnest Christian wearing a t-shirt that says “Evolve This” and picturing Jesus Christ shooting Charles Darwin in the face. I about lost my shit when she explains why she wears it. Her delivery is spot on. Eventually she starts to rebel against her spirituality (and if I were taking this movie seriously—which I’m not—I’d have some serious philosophical arguments to make). Ruth tries out cussing and for the rest of the movie she delivers line after line of wannabe-obscenities that had the whole theater rolling."

"Uncle Clair"—A Forgotten Hollywood Legend

2011-03-18T23:59:00.000-07:00

Growing up my Grandpa used to tell me stories about his cousin Clair. They came of age together in Magna, Utah. According to Gramps, Clair was a genius at the ol' fisticuffs, a blood-bother to the Paiute Indian tribe and a writer for Hollywood—including episodes of Star Trek. As I got older, I ascribed most of these tales to the folklore part of my brain.

One thing was for sure, Clair was a great novelist. I borrowed his books (now out of print) from various family members. Most of the covers displayed rave reviews from The New York Times, Los Angeles Times, Kirkus, Publishers Weekly an many more.

As I read through Clair's writings in my teenage years, I was blown away by his prose. Novels such as The Cowboy and the Cossack, Posse from Hell (coolest title ever) and One Time I Saw Morning Come Home were all stellar reads—classic Twentieth Century literature.

My favorite was Nobody Loves a Drunken Indian. Despite it's seemingly racist title, the book was a love letter to the American Indian. It was funny, poignant and described the plight of modern reservation-dwelling Native Americans with hilarious intelligence.

While writing this blog post I re-opened Indian. It's been a few years since I've read it. I had forgotten about an amazing little piece of wit right in the front cover. Where most original novels have a disclaimer that says, "This book is a work of fiction. Names, characters, places, and incidents are products of the author's imagination or are used fictitiously. Any resemblance to actual events or locales or persons, living or dead, is entirely coincidental;" Nobody Loves a Drunken Indian has this written instead:

"Note: The characters in this book are totally fictitious. There is no such thing as a Paiute reservation near Phoenix. There is no such thing as a Paiute reservation. There is no Phoenix. There is no such thing as inequality or racial prejudice. And there is no book in your hands."

Haunting and beautiful words—even more so if you've read the book.

When I started focusing on screenwriting my mom said to me, "Uncle Clair is probably rooting for you from Heaven."

I responded, "Why would Clair care about screenplays?"

Mom handed me his obituary.

Turns out that not only are Grandpa's stories (mostly) confirmed but this guy was a bigger badass than even the re-told embellishments of my youth.

Here's the article/obituary in full—I believe it is from The Salt Lake Tribune, circa April 1990 (I've copied the text as-is from the original):

Screenwriter Born in Utah Dies at 63 After Surgery

Utah-born Clair Huffaker, screenwriter and novelist whose motion picture westerns featured the greatest stars in Hollywood, is dead at 63 in Los Angeles after surgery for an aneurysm.

Huffaker was Utah's most successful screenwriter. His tales of the Old West were filmed with John Wayne, Kirk Douglas, Elvis Presley, Richard Boone, Stuart Whitman, Audie Murphey, Anthony Quinn, Jim Brown and Raquel Welch.

A Cyprus High School graduate, he was born to Clair and Orlean Bird Huffaker Sept. 24, 1926, in Magna, and was, in many ways, the model for his own stories of the rugged west. In his youth he worked as a lumberjack, steelworker, beachcomber, copper miner, cabbie, and a part-time smuggler dealing in cigarettes and currency on the European black market.

All of this to earn money for his formal education. His "informal education" taught him how to protect himself: he was a heavyweight boxing champiion at Princeton and Columbia universities. But he gave up the ring as a passing notion and turned to books and studies at Princeton and Columbia, with diplomas as well from the Sorbonne, the Centre University de Nice, and the College Intercontinentale due Cannes.

Before these adventures, he had emerged from Waorld War II as an aircraft carrier crewman who applied for underwater demolition training and was accepted instead for Officer's Candidate School. (He later learned that of the 15 men who became UDT specialists in the group, not one survived the war.)

Huffaker made himself available frequently in the 1970s to writing groups in Utah to discuss and share the trade secrets of screenwriting. On more than one occasion during his visits "home," he confided to a newspaperman friend that "most Hollywood writers are over-pampered, over-paid,and under-talented." (He was a member of the Screen Writer's Guild because it was necessary, but always denied he wrote for the sake of money.)

In 1958 Huffaker earned his first television writing credits for "The Lawman," series, and two years later began his filmscripting career with an adaptation of his own novel "Seven Ways From Sundown" starring Audie Murphy. Once he had mastered the techniques of writing for a camera, Huffaker never looked back.

Eventually Hollywood producers shied from western films as "too costly" and out of step with what the public wanted, but Huffaker considered western garb a badge of honor and rarely was seen without his black Stetson hat, cowboy boots and silver belt buckles.

His novels and screenplays are among the the best known of all movie westerns and action films: "Devil's Backbone," "Comancheros," "100 Rifles," "Hell Fighters "Flaming Star," "Nobody Loves A Drunken Indian," "Posse From Hell," "Rio Conchos," "War Wagon,"and one he wrote in 1973, "The Cowboy and The Cossack." That story—of a cattle drive across Siberia by a group of cowboys in the 1880s—Huffaker proudly insisted, made him the first novelist to be published simultaneously in the United States and the Soviet Union.

For television he wrote scripts for "The Rifleman," "Riverboat," "Rawhide," "The Americans," "Small Town D.A.," "The Outlaws," "Destry," "The Virginian," and "Twelve O'Clock High."

There were two more paragraphs that listed his surviving family members. Finally it spoke of his funeral arrangements—there was no funeral, but a "celebration of his life."

So basically, this guy I'm related too was Han Solo, John Wayne and Steinbeck all rolled into one.

There's a great lesson here—I've learned it many times—in order to write, first you have to live.

Even though he died when I was ten years old, as far as I know Clair never knew of my existence. My mom says that when she met him, her parents said, "He drinks whiskey and smokes, but it's okay because he's Clair." (We come from Mormon stock in case you didn't know.)

Now, I don't know if he's "rooting" for me from some celestial abode, but it's a nice to think I might share some of his genes. I've got the whiskey and cigarettes thing down, now I just need to catch up in my writing.

p.s. I'm pretty sure he never wrote a Star Trek episode either.

Times Square Review—Battle: Los Angeles

2011-03-15T23:02:00.000-07:00

My review for Battle: Los Angeles is up at Times Square. Apparently I liked it a hell of lot better than most critics.

"And that brings us to the action. As said, the slower moments feel like a better filmed Days of Our Lives episode but thankfully they take up a small amount of screen time.. The bulk of Battle is an intense and realistic gun-fight. It works. The audience can feel the frustration and confusion of a fully-automatic-skirmish. The moments of indecision and fast-thinking-orders are breathtaking. I know just enough about real military protocol (my old man is a first sergeant in real life) to know that Hurt Locker was a load of hogwash. For an alien invasion movie these guys sure did their homework. The lingo, battle strategies and character movements are all spot on. The filmmakers decided to make the aliens fight like us. They aren’t otherworldly in their warfare. In this universe strategic command is universal it seems."

Times Square Review—The 83rd Annual Academy Awards—Part 2 & Unknown Review

2011-03-10T03:34:00.000-08:00

I have two new articles up at Times Square.

The second part to (my now infamous and popular) Academy Awards write up has been unleashed.

I lived long enough to see Trent Reznor win an Oscar. I’m going to take this moment to make a time-traveling phone call to myself at age fifteen.

“Hello? Yeah, it’s Nick in 2011. How goes 1995? No, she doesn’t have herpes. Anywho, I just called to tell you that Trent Reznor won an Oscar. No I’m not kidding. What for? Well there’s this thing called Facebook and uh, well, you know the internet? It’s like super amazing now. Yeah, the porn is awesome and free! Anyhow, this Facebook thing is big and impossible to explain to your brain in the mid-90‘s. So Reznor won an Oscar for a movie about the internet that’s way better than Hackers. Of course he deserved it! Still, don’t carve “NIN” with a backwards “N” into your arm at lunch on a dare. It will look stupid and leave a scar that can still be seen in 2011. No, that’s not ‘wicked.’ Man, I’d come back and your kick your ass if I could. Yeah, I weigh like 50 pounds more than you and it’s not fat. No, Reznor isn’t “God.” He’s just a decent musician. Nick, you’re really an annoying little prick. By the way, 2010 is really going to suck for you. Goodbye.”

And my thoughts on the movie Unknown with Mr. Liam Neeson.

It also doesn’t take long for Neeson-Harris to befriend Gina (of course) the immigrant/cabbie/waitress. German-born Kruger is beautiful and believable as a poor Russian lass. She first blew me away in Inglorious Basterds and continues to shine in Unknown. She has a perfect screen chemistry with Neeson. I began to wonder if Neeson just has good chemistry with every actor but next to him January Jones seems like a Hollywood-blonde out of her element. The audience will root for Kruger and Neeson as a team and the movie plays this off perfectly.

Giant-Size Podcast: RIP Mr. McDuffie

2011-03-07T17:04:00.000-08:00

I posted the new GSP over at Watch Play Read.

Dig it!

-Greg is still funny and rants.

-Sam isn’t surprised by racism and rants.

-Andy is the most polite and knowledgeable panelist and rants.

-Nick gets angry and rants.

Seriously, check out our thoughts on creators hitting deadlines during the latter half of the show.

Times Square Review—The 83rd Annual Academy Awards—Part 1

2011-03-04T21:27:00.000-08:00

The first half of my bitchy review of the Oscars is up at Times Square.

Here's a couple of excerpts:
"Kirk Douglas owned his presentation to the Best Supporting Actresses. The man is a legend and can still entertain. He’s from my grandpa’s generation—who happened to be a bunch of badasses (if you don’t believe me, go home and watch The Right Stuff). He gave a commanding performance after having a hardcore stroke. If anybody talks shit on his bit I will personally come to your house with the ghosts of Grandpa, John Wayne and Jack Kirby to deliver you a WWII-style beat down. Then we’ll all go home, drink whiskey and engineer a new way to kill commies. You’re welcome."

And:

"Melissa Leo won Best Supporting Actress. How sweet it was. Did you see her look of shock? Did you see her trembling and stammering and accidentally dropping the f-bomb? Did you see how heartfelt her speech was? Did you notice when it began to get weird? Did you watch as she lost it and couldn’t put on her humility-pose anymore? Holy shit! Melissa Leo is totally into herself! She stole Kirk Douglas’ cane! WTF? So, it wasn’t an act of contrition at all. It was just designed to look that way. Wow, she is a good actress. Someone should give her an Oscar..."

Mr. Rogers to Fight from the Grave

2011-02-22T14:09:00.000-08:00

Congress has voted to cut funding to various forms of public media. It is in this writer’s opinion that our good friend Mr. Rogers would not be happy about this. In fact, he’d be downright sad. If you don’t believe me, check out the video of his testimony to The Senate in 1969

Programs like Sesame Street and Mr. Roger’s Neighborhood were such a powerful influence on my generation. As adults NPR is a great resource for good news. Let us strive for a country that has positive media. I want my son to have alternatives to guns and Spongebob.

I’ve created a Facebook page to try and raise my voice in a peaceful manner for this cause. CLICK FOR LINK.

I’ll leave you with this quote from the man himself:

“I think it’s much more dramatic that two men could be working out their feelings of anger, much more dramatic than showing something of gunfire.”

The Maze: A Comic Book Adaptation

2011-02-22T03:05:00.000-08:00

Oh, The Maze. Just the mention of it makes Sammy laugh. He and I worked on this project last summer. We were excited as it was our first movie adaptation. The producers had a distribution deal and a pretty slick movie to boot. Alas, we met our deadline and they never actually posted this damn thing.

Anyhow, fuck it. We did the work, so here it is.

Also, you can watch The Maze on Netflix if you dig B-movie slaherfilms.

King of Pain Full Issues

2011-02-21T00:25:00.000-08:00

I've re-upped all the pages from the first two issues of King of Pain. Everything is online for your reading pleasure. Feel free to share. Actual copies can still be purchased as well (see the links in my "comic box" sidebar).

King of Pain #1

King of Pain #2

Interview—David Server & Jackson Lanzing of Freakshow

2011-02-20T12:41:00.000-08:00

I interviewed these cool cats for WPR. Their first issue was good stuff. It's sold out already. Click here for the full article.

Freakshow #1 debuted last month from Ape Entertainment. Written by David Server and Jackson Lanzing with art by Joe Suitor, the first print has already sold out. It has also been announced that a film adaptation in the works by Thor screenwriter, Mark Protosevich. I was able to speak with David and Jackson recently by phone. They are both in the film industry but have a love affair with comic books on the side. The interview was quite revealing into the specifics of putting a book together and getting it sold. Comic writers and artists should read their words and take note...

Interview with Francesco Catania of APOW and John Courage

2011-02-15T11:56:00.000-08:00

My newest interview has posted at Times Square. Clickity-click.

Egypt's Revolution

2011-02-08T20:15:00.000-08:00

I try to stay politically-neutral on this here blog. However, my bleeding heart liberal sensibilities + geekdom won't allow me not to post this:

Go democracy. Go human rights.

Sundance Review — Hobo with a Shotgun

2011-02-04T21:28:00.000-08:00

Hobo with a Shotgun, yeah...

Full review here.

I couldn’t have been in a better mood to watch Hobo with a Shotgun. I travelled to The Sundance Film Festival in Park City with three high school buddies. We laughed, we drank, we stood in line, we laughed and drank some more.

Upon entering the theater the crowd was rowdy and yelling.. The movie was introduced by a Sundance employee (as is the tradition) thusly, “Welcome to Hobo with a Shotgun, which needs no introduction because it’s fucking called ‘Hobo with a Shotgun!’”

Everybody cheered...

Sundance Review — Take Shelter

2011-02-04T11:17:00.000-08:00

My review for the amazing Sundance film Take Shelter is up at Times Square Magazine.

Click here for the full article.

Curtis LaForche (played by a charismatic Michael Shannon) is a midwestern man with a good hard-working life. His wife Samantha (Jessica Chastain) is an ever dutiful and intelligent woman. They have a daughter who has grown deaf (the too-damn-cute Tova Stewart, who is hearing-impaired in real life) and the family is still figuring out how to adjust to her disability.

Curtis begins to have vivid dreams involving oily-thick rain, dangerous people, and always ending in violence. The dreams are terrifying to character and audience...

February News

2011-02-03T01:49:00.000-08:00

I was looking at my last news post from October and it's funny how many of those projects are still lingering. Once you get going as a writer there's always a million things "in the works."

-My band One Pope Left has played SLC finally and we're scheduling the recording of a full length album now! Back then it was just a planned EP.

-The story I wrote for Sunstone Magazine went over quite well. I got lots of good feedback from that one.

-Sammy and I finished everything for The Maze comic adaptation. However, the producers are sure taking their time about getting it online. The movie is available on Netflix now.

-Most of my comic projects have been put on an indefinite hiatus. The reason? I've accepted a writing internship to Times Square Magazine. It's a three month deal and we'll see how it plays out. I just wrapped up some Sundance movie reviews for them. I had a blast hanging out in Park City during the festival. Thanks to my high school buddies and especially Spencer for making it a great time. (See below pic for his feelings about me.)

-I'm also writing my ass off for Watch Play Read. They're going "official" soon and I'm glad to be a part of their team.

-I'm still working on my screenplay. When I finish my deadlines for Times Square and WPR I try to sneak in a page or two daily.

I've always wanted to write fiction, but it looks like the bulk of my duties are journalistic at this point. I'm not complaining. I'm happy to be writing away!

Sundance — Yep. I'm the dork in the 'Huskers hat.

I Finally Read It – Irredeemable Volumes 1-3

2011-02-02T13:20:00.000-08:00

Another review up at Watch Play Read.

Irredeemable is ripe for some serious psychoanalysis. Dig it.

New Giant-Size Podcast: Between Two Boners

2011-01-31T21:34:00.000-08:00

It's been a while since I've mentioned my comic review podcast. We still record every other week. It remains dirty and funny. It continues to be free.

Subscribe on iTunes or head over to Watch Play Read and stream this sucker.

Sam Rodriguez was in Vegas bumming around for bit and we've got him back. Plus we've asked Andy Malin to be a regular panelist.

This week Sammy made a comment about the cover below, saying, "It looks The Red Hulk and Thor are trying to fix the Infinity Gauntlet's radiator and it just blows up in their face—Woooah!"

I about peed my pants.

Comic Book Review — Incorruptible #14

2011-01-27T08:35:00.000-08:00

I have another review up at Watch Play Read. Click to check it out.

Interview with Dexter Tortoriello of "Houses"

2011-01-26T10:59:00.000-08:00

Dexter Tortoriello is an up and coming electronic musician from Chicago, Illinois. He first received attention for his underground project The Hospital Tapes.

Used to being a solo act, he has surprisingly found a kindred soul in girlfriend and band-member Megan Messina. Together they formed Houses in 2010. Tortoriello performed and produced the full length album All Night, which was released in October.

In a relatively short period of time Houses have been featured on NPR, an Australian paint commercial, used as a beat to rap over, produced music videos, received remixes by other artists, and have shown up on many best of 2010 lists.

I spoke with Tortoriello recently from his home in Chicago...

For the rest of the article head over to Time Square Magazine.

Comic Book Review — G.I. Joe: Cobra #12

2011-01-19T21:21:00.000-08:00

Once again, please head over to WPR for this review.

Comic Book Review — Starborn #2

2011-01-13T19:27:00.000-08:00

I have a new comic review posted at Watch Play Read. I'll put the text here soon enough, but I'd like to give these fine fellers at least a week of exclusivity. So click on over and give 'em some site hits!

Starborn #2 review with only two f-bombs.

*Updated: The full text is now below.

“Stan Lee’s (fill in comic title here) are words that comic readers have long been unimpressed with. Yes, we must admit it true believers, Stan Lee is fifty years past his prime. When was the last time his name on a cover got you all hot and bothered dear reader? Let’s be honest, Mr. Lee hasn’t written a decent comic since Jack Kirby and Steve Ditko did it for him in the swingin’ 60’s.

So here we are, another line of comics and another shot at the superhero genre by Stan “The Man” Lee.

Sort of.

From what I gather, Stan Lee Meets with Mark Waid (in person or not, I don’t know). Then Mr. Waid passes notes and story structure on to Chris Roberson. He writes the actual script and adds a little bit of story himself. So, as to how much of this beautiful mess we can blame on Stan Lee, I don’t really know.

Starborn is the story of a young office worker named Benjamin Warner. He lives a dull life while writing science fiction novels. He creates worlds in which the great and mighty Human Civilization battles The Hive. Spaceships and explosions abound. I was immediately let down when in issue #1 I read about a great civilization orbiting a Red Sun, until I realized that it was part of Benjamin’s fictional world.

Then I was let down again.

Wait for it…

Ben submits his novel to a publisher knowing that it will be picked up. He receives a rejection letter and goes back to work. Bummer. This part really resonated with me. (Hardy-har. It hurts to get rejection letters okay?)

Hold on! As it turns out Ben’s fictional world is real—and The Hive is after him. A childhood girlfriend, Tara Takamoto, shows up in the nick of time. She’s a warrior with a laser gun. She saves him and they start running form The Hive, blah, blah, blah.

That was issue #1. And we’ll get back to that in a second.

~note~ Before I kick into this rant, let me just say, Khary Randolph’s Starborn art is good stuff. A bit cartoony perhaps, but the guy knows what he’s doing. ~endnote~

Starborn #2 is action and exposition. In that order. It reads like Chris Claremont on a bad day. We find out that a council of alien races has no knowledge that humans exist and that they are afraid of them. There are allusions that the council fear a new human emperor rising up and we get a dose of space-opera talk with some subtext. Some.

Back on Earth, Benjamin and Tara race in a car and run through sewers to escape The Hive. Ben gets a super cool space suit and he just can’t believe any of it. Then some robots show up. That’s it. I’m not kidding.

Now, I’m an old jaded comic book geek. I feel like I’ve “been here, done that.” However, Starborn might be the perfect jumping on point for someone younger. If your nine-year-old nephew has a birthday coming up, grab these two issues for him. It might be just the thing he needs to love comics for life.

So here’s where we go back to issue #1 and it gets really fucking interesting. Ben mentions an author that he discovered after he had already invented his own space-fantasy world. The author’s works were eerily similar to Ben’s. The author’s name in the “Starborn” story is Kirk Allen. About halfway through my issue #2 boredom, I decided to google Kirk Allen and holy fucking shit! I read the most bizarre and awesome psychological study I’ve come across in years.

In brief, this guy Kirk Allen (a pseudonym) so fully believed that he was an interstellar traveller that he almost convinced his shrink it was true. This Kirk Allen guy was so into an unnamed set of sci-fi novels that he created his own world. The psychologist, Robert Mitchell Lindner, wrote,

“Meanwhile Kirk turned over to me all of his records.

It is impossible to convey more than a bare impression of these. There were, to begin with, about 12,000 pages of typescript comprising the amended “biography” of Kirk Allen. This was divided into some 200 chapters and read like fiction. Appended to these pages were approximately 2,000 more of notes in Kirk’s handwriting, containing corrections necessitated by his more recent “researches,” and a huge bundle of scraps and jottings on envelopes, receipted bills, laundry slips.

There also were a glossary of names and terms that ran to more than 100 pages; 82 full-color maps carefully drawn to scale, 23 of planetary bodies in four projections, 31 of land masses on these planets, 14 labeled “Kirk Allen’s Expedition to —,” the remainder of cities on the various planets; 161 architectural sketches and elevations, all carefully scaled and annotated; 12 genealogical tables; an 18-page description of the galactic system in which Kirk Allen’s home planet was contained, with four astronomical charts, one for each of the seasons, and nine star-maps of the skies from observatories on other planets in the system; a 200-page history of the empire Kirk Allen ruled, with a three-page table of dates and names of battles or outstanding historical events; a series of 44 folders containing from 2 to 20 pages apiece, each dealing with some aspect–social, economic, or scientific–of the planet over which Kirk Allen ruled. Finally, there were 306 drawings of people, animals, plants, insects, weapons, utensils, machines, articles of clothing, vehicles, instruments, and furniture.”

And that’s just the tip of the psychological iceberg in this fascinating story. Kirk was a smart guy. He was a government scientist that helped end World War II. Lindner was confused because his patient’s delusions actually seemed healthy. They helped him cope with a really messed up childhood. (Yeah, you think having sex with your nanny would be awesome until it actually happens.) I won’t ruin it for you, but eventually the doctor himself becomes a bit obsessed with Kirk’s world.

Cool shit huh?

In closing, go ahead and skip Starborn and click on these two links to have your mind blown to shit by some guy born in 1918.

~The Jet-Propelled Couch Part I

~The Jet-Propelled Couch Part II

Bonus! This was what I felt like writing when I first started this review:

Starborn is The Matrix meets Superman. The end.

A Failed Proposal and a Lesson from Ryan Ottley

2011-01-11T17:06:00.000-08:00

Once upon a time, I thought my comic book King of Pain was golden. Subsequently I proposed it to publishers by sending a whole bunch of manilla envelopes containing the first two issues and this clever little proposal letter.

Then I interviewed Ryan Ottley. He was kind enough to inform me that in the comic book world, proposals to publishers never get anyone work. Bummer. I could've saved a few bucks. Oh well, I guess I paid my dues to the gods of publishing. Now if they don't help me vanquish my foes, to hell with them!

To give credit where it's due, Libby Landvatter wrote the article by "Scott Solomon."
*Note: the original also had my address and telephone number on each page. That information has been removed due to the amount of angry ex-girlfriends that already know where I live.*

Click pics for full size view:

Web Comics Guide

2011-01-10T23:58:00.000-08:00

There is a very cool site called Web Comics Guide. They are a one stop source for all of teh interwebz free comic goodness. They have everything from Marvel to independents. The nice fellers were even gracious enough to add a link for my little blog.

Thanks WCG Team!