A Nice Guy, In Hollywood?

I've been in the early stages of writing a screenplay. The first thing I always do before tackling a new medium is research. I picked up a few books on the subject of screenwriting. This week I started reading "Save the Cat" by Blake Snyder.

In the book Mr. Snyder talks about a few Hollywood-y concepts like pitching something very quickly. A short (usually one sentence) explanation of your work is called a "logline." In the book a few examples were given. I thought I'd take a shot at giving my current story works loglines. It's harder than it sounds. How do you define and explain a work of art in one sentence; while at the same time showing the irony, telling who the audience will be and exciting the potential big shot executive?

With a little help from my friends, I came up with these two:

"A young man who despises superheroes loses his girlfriend to the biggest hero in town, only to discover that he has powers of his own. — King of Pain"

and

"A drug-addicted teenager discovers The beach Boys and they save his life. — Wouldn't it be Nice"

Now, I wasn't completely confident in these two lines. I had never really tried to boil my work down to such an extent before. Maybe I'm prideful and/or the cliched asshole artist, but I hate defining my own work. However, in the spirit of learning and experimentation I gave it a shot.

I also took a chance and sent them by email to Mr. Snyder in hopes that I might get an insider's perspective.

Well holy crap, the guy was nice enough to message me back! In a series of emails he said these aren't perfect loglines but they piqued his curiosity. They need work because they don't really tell him what the stories are about, but they seem like creative ideas. I guess I left out the conflict. He said it's okay though some of his script pitches have taken him years to balance.

He even invited me to keep in touch if I needed any more help. What a swell guy!